It's a 2 post kind of day...

Only because (and I promise, this won't happen again for a while) I need to vent.

Today was off to a great start - early morning meeting, yoga and then gym time for a swim.

I arrive, happy as can be to be getting back in the pool. The parking lot is packed with Buicks, so I know what I'm in for. The pool room is also packed, with overweight women from ages 15 (I'm guessing) - 60. They are holding their foam dumbels and floating around the pool.

Now, this pool has 4 lanes. Really only 2 of them are usable. The end lanes are either 1. too shallow and w/ ladders or 2. just crappy with ladders. The lanes are also a bit narrow, so sharing w/ someone who decides to do the breaststroke poorly or scull on their back can be challenging.

No big deal, the aerobic people are using up 3 lanes (including the 2 good ones), but there is an empty lane (the shallow one - about 3 feet deep, with ladders and steps). I make it work. About 700 into my workout, the pool returns to its normal setup.

HALLELUJAH!

I switch to a middle lane and get back into the grove. A few more swimmers arrive and one takes the other good lane. A few aqua-aerobic people waddle into the pool and take the crappy lane and an old woman pretty much falls off her walker into the other crappy deep lane and begins sculling aimlessly. Another swimmer dangles her legs in my lane - "Thank gawd", I think, "someone who knows pool etiquette!"

All is going swimmingly (pun intended!) until I notice the water level rise and a few more dimpled butts appearing in my watery midst.

Reaching the wall, a woman says to me, "Good timing, we're just about to take over this lane for our class."

"Really? There was just a class in here 10 minutes ago," I reply.

I move over 1 lane and now the three of us swimmers share a lane. As I'm finishing my last 500 (barely 150 into it), I notice the lane lines ahead of me are coming to a point. I pop my head up,

"Seriously? I'm just about done. You said your class starts in 5 minutes and I'll be done by then..."

[they continue to move the lane line]

"That lane is for you to swim, we use 3 lanes for our class."

"that lane" that she referred to was the crappy deep end lane - already home to the old woman that fell into it and was now sculling... possibly for her life. Another old man had joined her at some point and I thought maybe, sometime in the next hour they would actually reach one another in a slow-motion collision.

Taking stock: 2 old people floating, 3 swimmers, 2 ladders and one tiny lane. Perhaps the water aerobic people are as bad at math as they are at exercise?

Becoming irrationally mad, especially since I was holding a 1:20 pace for my base-pace workout (and since I haven't been in the pool in 3 weeks), I jumped out of the pool. All I can think of is whether or not these women actually believe this class merits their guzzling down of 800+ calorie peanut-butter and chocolate filled shakes plus a bar!

In one of the most mature moments of my life to date, I throw my flippers and board back in the pile (rather than place them down nicely in the massive garbage-heap-esque pile) and stomp out of the pool room reciting my respectable and courteous, yet direct speech to the gym director.

"Is there any way the water aerobics people can use 1 or 2 lanes rather than 3?"

"Can we please make swim caps mandatory?"

"Can we please post pool etiquette on every door?"

"Can we just ban water aerobics entirely and post a sign that says, 'POOL IS FOR SWIMMING'?

I shower and collect myself, never one to say something without thought.

I walk up to the front desk, ask for the director and find that she's on vacation until further notice. It looks like the battle will rage on...